There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
