Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So drunk its hurt
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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