he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
