Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
