I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
