I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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