no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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