Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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