i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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