Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
