he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
