It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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