by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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