i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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