May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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