i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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