you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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