I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize