Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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