The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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