He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
