At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
