Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
