I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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