Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
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Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
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Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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