Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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