I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
