My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
