i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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