i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
