this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize