I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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