with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
