I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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