any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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