I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
