i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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