no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
only if we run a train.
done.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
