So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
