office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i dont even know how to be here
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
