if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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