Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
