It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
