at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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