It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
