HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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