and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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