thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
