i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
