Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
