So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
