is your mom at the bar?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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