I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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