The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
