Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Who died my cat blue again?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
