i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
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