saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
