Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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