Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
