GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
