Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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